The Great Homosexual Lifestyle Challenge: Living with Less

I read a fascinating article this morning on the idea of living with less...a lot less. In fact, the couple featured in the article selected 100 things with which to live their lives and ditched the rest. I was intrigued. Is this even possible? I found that not only is it very possible, but for some, its also a highly successful way of living.

I look about my apartment and it feels more like a flea market than my home. I have bric-a-brac and crap everywhere. Very little of it is what I would even consider "valuable" in the sense that I didn't pay anything for it. No, I didn't STEAL it. I probably found it in some clearance bin at one of those awful chain discount stores. (Anyone want a perforated tin elephant tea light holder?) My bedroom is the worst. I look in there and I think, "blowtorch". I have two virtually empty bookcases serving no function other than to collect dust, take up significant amounts of space and store garbage that I neither need nor want.

Now, as a gay man, I, that is a homosexual, have a certain expectations to live up to. We are the ultimate consumer. Prada. Gucci. Boss. Chanel. Dior. Diesel. Burberry. It's a never ending parade of other people's clothes and shoes through our closets. The larger question is how to best cut the apron strings and quietly resist. Do I need Carerra sunglasses at $300 a pair? Will my life be better with those Burberry dress pants at $200 a pair? Will I die without a Louis Vuitton messenger pacasse? The answer for most gays to any of those questions might actually be "yes". For me, its "I'm not sure".

There are times when I see a pair of shoes or a book or a piece of art and actually feel compelled, deeply, to buy it. I actually have a pair of shoes in my closet that I have worn three times. I paid $180 for them. Why? Honestly, self-induced peer pressure. I never shop with other people. So the only person I can blame is myself, rather, my ego. I was so insecure in me that I felt $180 shoes would make me feel more confident. As it turns out, the shoes are horribly uncomfortable and really are quite ugly now that I look at them. Not Crocs ugly, but still, pretty ugly. I feel like the manager of a JC Penny or a used-car lot when I wear them. In other words, dirty.

I have been on kicks where I have significantly downsized the amount of my personal possessions. It feels great and it also looks better. Suddenly I am a Buddhist monk and my home is my cell and all i want to do it bow, drink tea and smile at flowers for no reason.  However, inevitably, that little consumer bug pops up and asks, "Why does your house look like hell?  Don't you want a Kosta Boda candy dish?  I think you do." I begin to compare my lifestyle with others and in that end I always lose. It never feels fabulous. I don't have a cute BMW. I don't own anything that you might find at Sak's.  I don't own the latest pair of shoes from Prada. I don't own a suit that can be, in any respect, considered designer. Am I a failure as a gay? If gay men define themselves by the things they own then yes I am a failure. Somehow though with the premise of defining my life by the things I own, I don't mind terribly being considered a failure.

So, I thought perhaps I could document my latest lifestyle transformation. This is not an endeavor to become some sanctimonious hipster as I cannot abide them at all. No, this is about feeling freer in my home. This is about placing value on those things in my life which aren't even things. This is about finding the inherent richness of life without worrying about who I am impressing because, as I have been learning, the only person I need to impress is myself. Does that sound like Doogie Howser? Perhaps a little. It's true though. If you waste your time trying to impress your neighbors or your friends you will find yourself in the same engineless jet that I am, spinning out of control back towards the earth. Rather than spin monotonously, I have decided to glide purposefully.

Stay tuned all of you who aren't even reading this. For more information on living with less, check out  http://rowdykittens.com/